Many times there have been moments in life, little ones, where suddenly a realisation would set in, a little whisper in the mind, reminding me gently that “this will not always be”.
That realisation has always been during simple, happy times in life. Sometimes it’s during the big occasions - holidays, celebrations, etc, but more often than not, it’s during the small, everyday happenings. It’s like nostalgia, but in the present moment. These moments only really become significant, once they’re gone.
A moment of gratitude that the arrabiata pasta with too much chilli you made with your best friends at home whilst watching Dinner Date in your pj’s and socks and flip flops, will one day be just a memory.
That looking around and watching people smiling and dancing all around you as that absolute tune comes on, forgetting all their troubles as you forget yours, will one day be just a memory.
That taking a certain route home, popping into Co-Op because the (soya) milk ran out and you got the message on the group chat just in time and thank god - because how on earth will we make weekend Indian tea tomorrow?! - will one day be just a memory.
Taking the tube to your friend’s house for dinner because he's making a vegan special for you all, going to get a coffee from that cute little coffee shop nearby, wandering into that peaceful green space to find some tranquility and solitude in the madness, commuting into work and catching up with your hilarious co-workers on the-thing-that-happened-the-other-day-with-that-person, omg!
Going home to see your parents and everyone debating on what to have for dinner from the million things mum has made while the TV plays “A Place In The Sun - Home and Away”.
Chatting to your friend in the evening because she’s at the end of her tether but reminding her she’s amazing and she’s strong and you believe she’s gonna get through it and come out better for it, and seeing her smile and feel a slight weight lift off. And how it lifts for you too, because her sadness is your sadness.
Feeling ill and miserable and lying in bed looking like you haven’t slept in a month and finding someone deliver medicine and a cup of tea, brewed to perfection, to your bedside table and being told “wake me up if you need me!”.
Getting a link to an article that tells you just what you need to hear from the person who can read your mind without you ever having to say anything.
Buying a bottle of wine on the way home, because they got the job and so this definitely deserves vino!!!!!
Getting a text in the early hours to see if you have come home while you take your contacts out after a long and hilarious night out and knowing someone out there cares about you being safe and sound.
Waking up and taking a photo of the flowers that your friend surprised you with, just because, as the morning sun floods into the room.
Having your nearest and dearest drive you a van, shift your thousand canvases and papers neatly into the boot, so that they’re protected, and move you into an unknown place because they don’t want you to feel alone in this new chapter.
Isn’t this what it’s all about in the end?
We need to recognise it. Because life is short. Anything can happen. Horrible things. A serious and debilitating illness, a financial nightmare...death. It’s so morbid but I think to myself that reminding ourselves about these things, brings more life, not less.
As the years have gone by and time has become ever more elusive, as 2014 became 2019 in the blink of eye, I’ve realised more and more that it is in the smallest of the things, that we find the most genuine happiness. The kind of happiness that stays with us, even though the present became the past.
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*I dedicate this post to my best friends*